Gravity
by Christina B
Summary: As Vader starts his new life as a Sith Lord, he can't forget about everything he’s lost. Songfic!


Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or John Mayer's song Gravity.

AN: This is just a little vig I wrote when inspiration struck.

**Gravity**

_Gravity  
Is working against me  
And gravity  
Wants to bring me down_

Never did Anakin Skywalker's life did he ever imagine that breathing could be a chore. Every breath he took, Anakin couldn't forget the set of circumstances that put him on this path. One where he was unfeeling and admittedly cruel, and one where he never would laugh or smile again.

For he had to continue to tell himself that he was no longer Anakin, Jedi Knight and Commander of the Republic. Instead his existence had become that of Darth Vader, Sith Lord, and the Emperor's right hand man. It was a shocking transition, but none more that the suit he now wore.

After his grave error on Mustafar, Anakin was confined to the black suit that was now a part of him. He realized that he was more machine than man, but the human part of him loathed the transition. Learning how to walk on his cybernetic legs was a chore, not to mention eating from a tube, and having a machine force his heart to beat. He was Darth Vader, nothing more and nothing less.__

Oh I'll never know  
What makes this man  
With all the love  
That his heart can stand  
Dream of ways  
To throw it all away

Padmé was gone, and every day his failure to protect her, haunted Vader. Not in his dreams, because after all he didn't need to sleep much anymore, but during the unbidden moments when he least expected it. She turned on him, Padmé sided with the turncoat Jedi and now she was dead. Vader couldn't prevent it from happening and now he wondered why visions of her beauty would never leave him be.

His child died when she did and the glimmer of excitement Anakin felt when he learned he was going to be a father, was struck with Vader's pain. It was during the middle of a war, and not particularly a good time to bring children into the world, but in that moment he'd been proud to think he would be a father. And now that would never be.

_  
Oh Gravity  
_

_Is working against me  
And gravity  
Wants to bring me down_

He never knew that when he took on the role of Sidious' apprentice, that the role would be so unrewarding. At times Vader felt as if he sacrifice meant nothing, and that he was never going to be rewarded as he felt just. He was the Emperor's favorite, but in all actuality that really didn't seem to mean he was treated very different from Palpatine's other servants.

Yet Vader knew that we was the Sith's greatest tool. Everywhere he walked he intimidated, every time he spoke he struck fear, and every time he walked others ran the other way. It felt very powerful and intense, but he no longer had any friends.__

Oh twice as much  
Ain't twice as good  
And can't sustain  
Like one half could  
It's wanting more  
It's gonna send me to my knees

He couldn't give into his emotions anymore. That was the greatest difference between Anakin and Vader. Anakin was impulsive, compassionate, and at times very immature. His new life as Vader meant that he carried none of the same flaws. He was a cold and deadly foe, and it was rare at all that he let on his true emotions behind his mask. People often speculated that he was actually a droid. Little did they know about the raging man inside.

He fought and bullied himself almost more than he did to those under his command. Vader sulked daily yet this was never revealed to any. Only his Master knew of his constant inner turmoil, and yet Palpatine was satisfied with it. __

Oh gravity  
Stay the hell away from me  
Oh gravity  
Has taken better men than me  
Now how can that be?

There were so many times over the course of his life when Vader wish he'd done something differently. Reaching his mother in time to save her and not making that jump to the riverbank on Mustafar. Yet when it came down to it, Anakin really wasn't sure that he would've done anything different. His faults and strengths led him to the position Vader was in now and he would accept it.

He would never again kiss his wife, have a friendly conversation, or joke. Vader would greet a stranger with a smile or a nod, or help an elderly being cross an intersection. He would never feel the wind blow through his hair as he rode a speederbike or feel the sweat on his brow after a 

workout. This was Vader's existence…nothing and pain. And darkness, one that would never dissipate.

_Just keep me where the light is_


End file.
